Sketchy Sex: an introduction

by audrey rush

​There was a time...

Long before the internet offered us a bevvy of complimentary boobies (or premium boobies, if you are willing to pay a small monthly fee), horny young humans eagerly awaited that time of night when their parents were too tired to stay up themselves but had no problem leaving said young humans alone with the family television.  It was then- with the lights turned off and the volume set in between 3 and 4, depending on your OCD numeric preferences- that the forbidden channels offered up their wares.  

Mine were channels 87-89, but my favorite was 87.  TEN: The Erotic Network. A new full length feature started every night at 10pm.  Solid plot lines and 8-10 minutes of uncensored action per scene.  Well, sort of uncensored.  The sound came in clear as a bell (hence the importance of the solid plot lines) but the picture was a wash of colors more suited to Schokko with the Red Hat than Jenna Jameson's Girl with the Pearl Necklace.  The images themselves were distorted beyond recognition about 85% of the time, but every 30 seconds or so a pop of clarity would come through to clue you in as to the current position. Once the visual was lost, you were pretty much on an audio-guided tour for the rest of the ride, but what was left for the imagination was pretty easy to piece together.  Just "a bit of the old in-out, in-out" as they say.

As labor-intensive as it was acquiring my salacious stories (real talk: I've put less thought into science projects than I put into negotiating getting the right time and conditions to view channel 87), it was never something I thought twice about as far as the work-to-payoff ratio was concerned.  I loved it.  It was dirty.  It was sneaky.  And it made my jungle rumble.  

​Of course with the advent of the world wide web, it seems as though the days of coordinating family schedules to ensure alone time to piece together abstracted genitals into some sort of image that made sense both sensually and in accordance with the laws of physics are bygone.  Still, I'm on the lookout.  Somewhere out there is more absurdly confounding material that I can feel just a little bit naughty for finding and enjoying.  Some little tidbit of entertainment that leaves just enough holes here and there for my imagination to fill in, but with a solid plot line to carry me from one 8-10 minute session to the next.  Something raunchy.  Something forbidden.

Something Sketchy.